


Always There

by Lesca Fenix (lescafenix)



Category: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Genre: F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2144664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lescafenix/pseuds/Lesca%20Fenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the eve of her final confrontation with Caius, Serah returns to Yaschas Massif 01X to recenter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mako_lies (wingeddserpent)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingeddserpent/gifts).



The sun is setting on the Pass of Paddra, casting the path into deep shadow. Everything is still and the wind isn’t blowing. It’s like the entire timeline is holding its breath as the world falls apart in 500 AF. A behemoth roars in the distance, and Serah urges her chocobo to run faster, digging her heels in to its sides and leaning low over its neck. The darkness is closing in on all sides, and Serah’s throat begins to tighten as the path winds, no end in sight. She knows this darkness well—it’s the darkness that has relentlessly stalked her through her dreams and visions.

_Not yet. Not yet._

She has seen this path through so many eras that it seems almost timeless, like the Void Beyond itself. It only adds to the feeling of not belonging anywhere—being not of any world—or of the world itself falling apart around her, like in the Academia they just left to come back here. They stood at the path to the Academy Headquarters, and Serah couldn’t make herself move forward. She just couldn’t do it. Noel had suggested they regroup and rest before confronting Caius, since they could use the gate to bring them back to that time and place.

Serah had asked to come back to Yaschas Massif, 01X AF.

Noel hadn’t asked questions.

The path finally gives way to the Paddrean Archaeopolis research camp, a sea of stars in the inky black pit ahead. And at the top of it, like Phoenix itself, Hope’s headquarters tent glowed, a welcoming beacon.

It was different coming back here, Serah thought as they descended the ramp into the ruins. It was in this city that Yeul was born, where she had made her fateful choices, where she was cast out. Suddenly Serah could see faces, wondering if as a child Yeul had played among these buildings. Where had she lived? What had she dreamed about as she had gazed up at the imposing cliffs?

It’s a silly thing to ask. Serah knew what Yeul had dreamed about. She now saw the visions too. Yeul had dreamed about the same things Serah now dreamed about, completely against her will. They could not escape them, cannot escape them. Serah hasn’t had a lifetime to accept the ending fate has written for her, and she’s struggling. She needs just a few hours, she begs Etro silently as they dismount their chocobos and climb the ramp to Hope’s headquarters. She doesn’t even know if the goddess is still listening.

“You’re back already!” Alyssa gasps as they step into the light of the tent. “You just left this morning!”

Noel laughs. “Yeah, something like that,” he says. He and Serah share a glance. It’s hard to look Alyssa in the eye now, but they have to. They can’t change the timeline again. They’ve come too far.

Alyssa gives them a calculating look and rubs her chin for a moment. She then breaks into a huge grin. “I bet you’re needing a place to sleep for the night. We’ve got a couple guest bunks we can share, don’t we, Director?”

Hope had moved from behind the large table strewn with maps and plans, but had not closed the small distance remaining between him and Noel and Serah. She caught his gaze, trying to read his face, to see if the plans for Adam, thoughts of time travel, any of that had yet begun to take hold. Hope quickly looked away. “Of course!” he almost coughed out. “We’ve already served dinner for the evening, but there’s plenty left over. Alyssa will take you to where you can clean up and get some rest.”

“Just what we need,” Noel replied good naturedly, almost too nonchalant in his ‘nothing to see here, the world isn’t about to end in 490 years,’ act. He trailed after Alyssa as she led the way to a doorway carved into the rock.

“Hope?” Serah asked quietly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. She could see his jaw was tense, his shoulders hunched. He jumped when she touched him, then immediately relaxed and turned toward her.

“Long day,” he said with a loose chuckle, his smile tight. “I hadn’t expected to see you again so soon,” he said after a beat, chuckling again.

“Soon is relative,” Serah replied, her own smile hurting her face. Why was this so funny? She couldn’t stop, and she could tell it was only making Hope more uneasy. “I hope we’re not inconveniencing you.”

“No, no! Not at all!” Hope quickly protested, barely allowing Serah time to finish her sentence. “I said you’re always welcome here, and I meant it.” His furtive glances remind Serah of a cat looking for its nearest escape route when encountering an overly friendly dog, and she takes the hint.

“Just making sure,” she says slowly, peering at him once more before letting her hand slide down his arm. After a moment, Hope’s gloved hand covered hers.

“I meant it, Serah,” he says lowly, although he doesn’t look up.

Serah responds with a squeeze to Hope’s hand, then quickly backs away to catch up with Alyssa and Noel.

-

With time being relative, Serah can’t even tell how long it’s been since she’s had a shower. She takes off all of her jewelry, protectively folding it up and hiding it in her pillowcase before luxuriating under the hot spray. She needs this, to get a grip on who she is, what is about to happen, to re-evaluate everything she took for granted for so long. She’s been struggling with it since she had been stabbed by Caius in the Void Beyond and been sent back to that strange New Bodhum. Even when she’d believed it, it had all felt like an act, like some hollow victory. What was truly important any more? Was anything?

Eventually the water ran cold, and Serah had to climb out. Alyssa had supplied a simple tunic dress and leggings that looked like they were standard Academy issue. She left her hair damp and loose and didn’t bother with shoes. She wanted to feel the ground beneath her feet, the cool breeze in her hair.

The research camp was remarkably quiet after dark. Serah could hear the sounds of laughing and music from somewhere in the distance, deeper in the ruins, but the main square was dark and silent, broken up every once in a while by a glowing flashlight meandering back and forth. This city had existed for centuries, and it had centuries still to exist before the world would fall apart.

What is happening in Paddra in 500 AF? Serah wondered as she leaned over the rail of the ramp, hair falling around her face. Will the city know that I was here? Will anyone know that I was here?

The last thought stops her short, and she swallows hard, acutely aware of the darkness hovering just outside the dim circle of light trapped in the research camp. She rubs her arms, left bare by the sleeveless tunic, and starts to walk toward the welcoming, bright light of the research headquarters tent. She listens to hear that nobody is there, then wanders in, surprised to see Hope still there, bent over a book.

“Do you ever sleep?” she asks, unable again to suppress a giggle as Hope jumps and looks up sheepishly.

“I sleep when I can,” he replies, running a hand through his hair.

“Lots to do?”

“Lots on my mind.” He sighs and looks down, then closes the book. “I’m being a terrible host.”

“You don’t need to entertain me, Hope,” Serah says with a laugh. “I just—needed a little break.” It sounds terrible the moment it leaves her lips. Lightning didn’t get a break fighting in Valhalla. Hope obviously never gave himself a break. What had she done to deserve a break? “You know, when we were riding here on the chocobos, I thought the research camp looked like a bunch of stars in the ground,” she suddenly said. Anything to change the subjects.

“Really?” Hope asked, looking up again. It had a strange, throaty quality to it, and after a moment he stood and walked over to Serah. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure.” Serah padded along behind Hope, following as he climbed up a narrow ramp on the other side of the tent, ascending between two rocks and winding higher and higher, until it turned and emerged on an outcropping high above the camp. Hope walked to the end of the ramp and sat down, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the rock. After a moment Serah sat next to him, letting her legs dangle as well. It was a strangely freeing feeling, knowing there was nothing beneath you, that you could just pitch yourself forward and tumble over.

“Look down now,” Hope said, leaning over and urging Serah to do the same.

“Oh wow,” Serah whispered. The lights along the spiraling ramps, those surrounding the excavation areas and then lowered into the pit made what looked like a vortex of stars descending into what seemed like infinity. She looked back up, following the thinning lights that still dotted the top of the camp here and there, blending into the night sky, which picked up where those lights left off. “From up here, it looks like the sky just goes on forever,” she whispered.

“It’s my favorite place to get away from everything,” Hope says. “It’s quiet, and all that’s around are just the ruins—no signs of research or the modern world. Just me and Paddra.”

Serah followed the shadow of the ruins around the top of the rise, thinking again about the secrets they held. The breeze was cool up here, but she felt strangely hot, like her skin was prickling. “I could have just worked here and been happy,” she whispered, the words tumbling out before she could even consider their wisdom. “All I ever wanted to do was learn about the people who lived before us. To learn the truth behind the stories we were always told. That’s why I went to that Pulse Vestige.” Why was she about to cry? Serah squeezed her eyes tightly, then opened them to look down at the lights again, her breath coming in short gasps, the urge to scream welling in her throat. It’s like she’s looking out over a whole life that could have been.

“I know,” Hope whispers. He’s staring up at the stars, and his breathing is trembling slightly.

“I want to stay here,” she whispers. “I want to stay here, to do what I want, to have something that’s just for me. I want to be selfish.” She pulls her legs from over the edge and hugs them to her chest. “But I can’t. I can’t.”

“You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met,” Hope says, shifting to turn toward her. “I know you won’t stay, because Lightning needs you. But, I…” he struggles for a moment. “I wish you could stay, too.” The words are quiet, vulnerable. “I wish I could do more to be there for you.”

The silences that dance around and between them echo in Serah’s mind and in her heart along with the awkward reunions and departures they had in Academia. She can’t help but choke out another giggle and smile, shaking her head. “If only you knew,” she chuckled.

_You built a Fal’Cie to help me, then didn’t build one when I yelled at you across time. You built a time machine so you could follow me to the future, then promised to follow me again. You don’t even have the power to travel through time, and that didn’t stop you from doing everything you could to support me. Snow had the power to travel through time, and he wasn’t there. Lightning wasn’t there. You chose me. You chose to do whatever it took to be there for me._

Hope’s brow furrowed, although Serah could see a curious smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “So you _have_ been gone for longer than an afternoon,” he said knowingly.

After a moment of consideration, Serah nodded, holding her hands up in mock defeat. “Okay, you caught me. That's kind of an understatement.”

“So you know what’s going to happen,” Hope continued, realization dawning on his face. “Serah,” he whispered, impulsively reaching out and taking her hand like he had the first time they’d met in Yaschas Massif. This time, however, he didn’t let her hand go. Serah realized he wasn’t wearing his gloves now.

“I—I can’t talk too much about it. I can’t change the timeline,” Serah said, swallowing hard to keep down the sob that wanted to bubble up. Aside from Noel, Hope was the only one who was there. He was the only one who could even hope to understand. But she couldn’t talk to him about it. Not here. “I didn’t come here to talk about that,” she said quickly, dashing her other hand across her eyes.

“Why did you come back here? Of all places,” Hope asked quietly, almost hesitantly.

Serah was glad Noel hadn’t asked her that, because she wouldn’t have been able to answer before. Now, however, she knew what to say. “I needed a moment to recharge. I needed to—to not feel alone.”

Hope didn’t reply for several long moments, until Serah ventured a look up at his face. He was staring out into the darkness, until he realized Serah was looking at him. He then met her gaze. “I haven’t felt lonely since you walked into this camp for the first time,” he whispered.

Serah felt something burst within her, a warmth flooding from her chest to the tips of her limbs. This was what she was looking for, the answer to that aching question inside her. She couldn’t have a future at this place, but her future was at this place. It had been there all along.

“Serah?” Hope whispered a moment before her lips reached his in a soft kiss. She felt him gasp against her mouth, then relax against her, both strong arms encircling her protectively and pulling her against his warm body.

They kissed slowly at first, barely parting before plunging back in, growing deeper and more desperate before regaining some restraint and settling into light nuzzles of the lips. Serah was afraid to pull away for fear that Hope would get spooked or that she would think too much and ruin the moment herself. Eventually, though, they had to part to regain their breath. Hope’s eyes were gleaming, his pale cheeks flushed in the dim light and his lips glistening. Serah thought she felt like he looked. She tried to speak, but words wouldn’t come. She wrapped her arms around him tightly again instead, resting her head against his chest and listening to his heart race.

Hope held her tightly, rocking slowly with her as they watched the stars slowly creep across the sky. Eventually he spoke, his voice a comforting rumble deep in his chest that she could feel as well as hear.

“Can you tell me one thing about—about the end?” he asks. “Am I there?”

Serah looks up, her face inches from Hope’s. “You were always there,” she says, punctuating her words with a meaningful kiss. “You’re always there.”


End file.
